R.I.P. Chester Bennington
Chester Bennington, the lead singer of Linkin Park, is dead. However, because of him, there are likely many who aren't.
When I was about eleven or so, I was deeply gripped by depression and what I didn't know to be anxiety. I was bullied and felt alone. I considered self-harm as a means of catharsis. However, for many years, I've had another catharsis besides writing: music. It's always been my means to cope. When I was younger, I played the viola (underrated and objectively the best orchestral instrument in existence), and being swept up in the music helped me. I also listened to a good deal of music. Before getting into metal, I listened to contemporary rock. One of these bands was Linkin Park. Though the band was often considered melodramatic and "emo," many of their songs perfectly captured emotional distress, self-disappointment, and a need to escape. These songs helped many, including myself, feel less alone while they were in situations that made them trapped and isolated. The song "Leave Out All the Rest" is my favorite song by the band, though it is on one of their less well-received albums. It helped me through two losses in 2012 and 2013. The song, to me, is about grief, about someone who has died or will die telling someone their last wishes should the other person miss them. I was aware that Mr. Bennington had an autobiographical stake in LP's music; I learned he suffered from suicide ideation, addiction ("Breaking the Habit"), and sexual abuse. Unfortunately, even when one has gained acclaim, trauma and mental illness do not cease to cause deep suffering. Still, the impact of this music―and Chester's raw, emotional vocals―will last long after this tragedy. “If it wasn’t for music I’d be dead," Chester said once, and this reminds me of a similar sentiment I heard from Dani Filth, the lead singer of Cradle of Filth; I can't find the interview now, but I seem to recall him saying if he hadn't had his band and music, he would've been dead of an oversdose. The power of music, and art as a whole, can never be understated. Art offers solace for the oppressed, isolated, and disturbed; it offers peace, though that peace is tenuous and a long road. It, like many of LP's lyrics, is often dark and uncomfortable, but this allows many people to find empathy. Thank you for all you've done, Chester. I'm sorry for everything you endured, and I will most certainly keep you in my memory. I give my condolences to his family, friends, and supporters. If you need someone to talk to, you can reach me at emilydeibler94@gmail.com.