A Christmas Horror Story [Horror Movie Review, As You Can Tell]

Emily Deibler
Dec 25, 2017
2 min read

[SPOILERS]

A Christmas Horror Story is, as the title suggests, a Christmas-themed ho-ho-ho-horror film. It has ambitious, great ideas, but there are issues with the pacing, acting, and writing that hinder some of the brilliant moments. Below is a list of the pros and cons of each segment.

Ghost Nun Hospital Possession Pregnancy Thing

Pros:

Uh, the nun hospital for unmarried pregnant girls set-up is pretty cool and reminds me of my favorite season of American Horror Story? Man, I really should rewatch Asylum. Jessica Lange is amazing.

Cons:

A jumpscare where a dead body screams. A body. That is dead. As in not alive.
Every jumpscare with no build-up. (All of them.)
Why exactly did a teenager hack into private security footage of a homicide while she was babysitting for a police officer? Just...why? You know, besides For the Plot.
Stilted dialogue.
Undeveloped characters who state their feelings.
Three unlikable kids who cannot escape a basement adjacent to an accessible bathroom with a giant, unbarred window.

Definitely Not Banking Off the Krampus Hype

Pros:

Amy Forsyth's performance is one of the best in the entire movie.
Michelle Nolden gives a decent performance with the exception of her lack of care toward the reveal that her husband has ruined her life and her children's, though this may be more of a writing issue.
That Death guy from Supernatural.
The ending is surprising and great.

Cons:

Terrible acting from the father. Also, the character is a douchebag.
The dad literally gives zero fucks about being impaled and gushing intestinal blood.
The CGI Krampus tongue is poorly rendered.
I hate, hate, hate the whole "let's leave the safety of our car to wander the woods" trope.

A Changeling Story

Pros:

Adrian Holmes's acting as the father.
Good continuity with the father being the traumatized cop in the found footage segment during the school excursion.
Olunike Adeliyi probably gives the best performance in this entire film. She gives it her all.
Ultimately, the parents' acting makes the viewer care about the characters and what happens to them.
Great writing in the parts that reveal the family conflict because of the father's trauma.

Cons:

Audio effects when a creature's mouth is closed.
Disappointing ending where villain just gives up on the replacing-child-so-human-child-is-trapped-in-fairyland motive for...no reason?
The father's death is disappointing for an otherwise strong segment and it feels like it undermines the depth and care put into his character.

The Wraparound Radio Segment/Santa Claus: Elf Zombie Hunter

Pros:

William Shatner.
The "Fuck Christmas" guy. He's basically me barring the mall massacre in a Santa suit and fake beard.
The grim, industrial Santa with kick-ass skills is pretty cool.
"I said I don't want a goddamn cookie, you reindeer-fucking snow whore."
The entire segment is so outlandish that it has a Sam Raimi charm to it. It goes for the dark and silly.
The ending is actually brilliant and a great conclusion to an otherwise uneven film.