How Horror Affects My Mental Illness

So, hey guys. I'm supposed to be writing about hope and reading Clive Barker's The Scarlet Gospel, but I wanted to talk about something I've been thinking about with October and Halloween approaching.

There's much to be said about how horror novels and films depict mental illness and mental institutions. That, however, is not the focus of this post. I know many people I respect, from friends to BookTubers, who don't watch horror not because they hate the genre, but because it triggers their mental illness. Because of the imagery present in various horror stories, from ghosts to demons and so on, the genre can trigger hallucinations and anxiety attacks. These reactions and the need to steer away from horror as a self-care practice are completely valid.

However, something I've spoken about recently is how, as someone with an anxiety disorder, horror has actually helped my anxiety. This isn't a prescriptive suggestion for everyone with anxiety to start binging horror movies on Netflix. (Although, if you did, I'd recommend Hellraiser and Hellraiser II.) This is my experience and my experience alone, although I'm curious if others feel this way.

It's not a stretch that a genre that focuses on creating fear provokes anxiety; after all, horror exposes our anxieties. For me, though, horror has always been a controlled space to face fear and survive it. When it comes to the "but there's so much horror in the world already" argument, that's, well, true. But that's why horror doesn't scare me anymore. I've not only become desensitized, but in the grand scheme of things, demons and zombies and the like don't scare me compared to the atrocities people commit to each other. That may be why I always prefer stories with some sort of supernatural force--it creates an air of fantasy separate from the world we live in.

Similar to how writing provides a cathartic outlet, horror provides a space where I can control what I take in and explore emotions I'd otherwise attempt to avoid. Hey, if I can survive demons and killer clowns, what's adulting, right? It's a bit difficult to explain, but I think, as a horror writer, exploring these anxieties and connecting to those affected by these fears is crucial. Overall, horror has been a positive outlet for my illnesses.

How about everyone else? Do you read, watch, or write horror? How does it make you feel?

#horror #mentalillness #anxiety